Saturday, April 09, 2005


I begin typing this post. Snap! There is a power cut! I decide to write nevertheless. I am too much in a mood for it today. I pull out one of my old notebooks from my messed up cupboard, frantically flip through the pages and see some empty sheets to my great relief..

Our balcony is Paradise. I cosily seat myself in a chair. The sweltering heat that baked me up a few days back has now given way to a subtle, gentle weather. The Tulsi plant next to me sways quietly and the tender breeze casually turns the pages of this book..

How have the last few days been?

I haven’t been blogging to say the least. But, that apart, every day has been packed, that time just seemed to tick away, as I helplessly saw it happen. “No time”, “I am busy”, “Chalo, I shall get back to work now”, I seemed to keep saying them repeatedly and quite unconsciously. Vani would land up for a chat and I would just ask her to go away, “No, no time now.”

I would come back late in the night, curl up on the sofa, when amma would effortlessly lift my head, place it on her lap, and gently stroke my hair. I would hold on to her sari and blissfully doze off, wondering why mothers were so adorable and why their love was so comforting and incomparable. Love you amma..

Why are people the way they are?

I spent close to a week touching different points in Madras, driving on the maddening roads, as the scorching sun stared down mockingly, “Hey you silly girl, on a puny vehicle!!”. I had to argue and convince my life out to men and women (my sources), to open their god damned mouths and reveal a bit of info. I witnessed the unsatisfied ego of certain people, who would assume an air of importance and shell it out all at two college girls! All this for a project!! By the end of it, I had an answer – people are the way they are and sometimes (or rather most of the times), one had no choice but to accept them that way!

What is this world without friends?

My close pals land up. “Every time that I call you up, you are in college. What is this??!!”, one of them jumps on me. The other comes up with an idea to meet up at 7:30 PM on a Saturday night and tells me that at 6:50 PM, when I am still at college. A flurry of phone calls. “Guys, please understand, Am tired!!” “Ok, ok. Tomorrow 4:30 PM, fine?”, they say. Agreed. We catch up at Barista, and I listen to them go on and on, as I take sips of yummy hot chocolate. We laugh like nuts over crazy things..Boy, what is this world without friends? M and V, I am glad you guys are around..

And then..

I welcome a new friend into my small world and with it joy and chuckles.

I wonder at the triviality of life, at the loss of a dear soul. I experience the gloom that surrounds it all.

And.. I see my usually silent walks in the nights, being accompanied by a distant voice now..

Did you know, Vadumangai is back at Madras??

I was overjoyed to see amma empty “pathu padi” (a measure) of Vadumangai into a tub of water. I couldn’t resist my temptation and grabbed one of them for a quick bite. (yum!) With every passing day, I would eye that jar, which saw the Vadumangais transforming into tastier versions..

So, what the hell am I doing now?

Today, I stand at the brink of yet another transition – ending a phase and moving on to the next. Yesterday and the day before, people at college walked into the lab, hugged me and said adieu. I was filling others’ address books and getting mine filled too. Ten months is not too long to miss a place (and also because, I am not the sorts who would miss something that easily) but it sure is long enough, to leave behind a vacuum, for all the hectic activity that made up the days.

My locker at college needs to be cleared up – a few film rolls, snaps clicked during photo journalism class, negatives, pens that no longer write, chocolate wrappers, chips packets etc etc. I need to hand over the locker key, get the “no dues” signed and I am almost (almost) saying good bye to this place that changed the course of my life in a short time..

And after all that, I remembered something. My blog. I really need to dust it up. I can already see cobwebs settling all over. Tcch.. I am so careless..:)


MrGonSings said...

Being the first one here today, I cannot help but feel very proud to welcome you back to Planet Blogging...

I knew this past weeks would be tough for you, so I'm glad you are finally meeting the end of it and getting back some of that wonderful personal time we all need to feed the spirit of our lives...

"what is this world without friends?"
Without them, I wonder if we would even question ourselves about the meaning for the "world" itself.

"why are people the way they are?"
This one I always face from a positive side, we might say. Whether good or bad, the many different ways that people behave is one of those things that will always bring a surprise into your life. If it's a good surprise, you'll enjoy it. If it's a bad one, you'll learn.

"So what the hell am I doing know???"
Once that empty locker key is handed over, I suppose it will be balance time... In moments like this, it always seem like something is over... But deep beyond, I believe it is always more like just beginning (The Beginning)...

Did I tell I was vey happy to see you are posting again????


Vani Viswanathan said...

even i'm going to leave my room soon! and i feel so sad...leaving my first home here to go to some other room...
so finally pg over and back to working again!
what you write makes me miss so many things even more! i'll get them back soon! :)

Eroteme said...

Welcome back... :-)
Its nice to see you back. Honestly. And this post is so perfect a comeback!
You switch between topics fairly effortlessly! From balconies to mom to the heat to friends to mangoes (yummm) to ... :-)

Distant voice accompanying your walks? Time to go to that ENT doctor uncle!!! :-))

More than visiting the cleanest of courtrooms, the pleasure of the dusty attics and warm moist alcoves is a treasure. Unless you have dust allergy!! :-))

Narayanan Venkitu said...

Vadumangai - My mouth is watering.!!!

Long time since I had the genuine stuff.

Me said...

adai-vennai, vadumanga, .. innum naal naala amma kai-ala paanagam aaa

Just by scribbling these things you are capturing moments in life which people away from India really miss.


Chakra Sampath said...

hey hey.. welcome back!!

nice post giving a neat summary of things... vadumangai takes the cake. keep posting more.

Anupama Viswanathan said...

:)..I knew you were always around!! And couldn't agree more with all that you mentioned! :). Thanks for welcoming me back and more thanks for feeling happy about it!! :)

Oye sissy! Just hmmm...17 more days to go!!! :) and I have great plans!!

Eroteme, what do I say? I am privileged to have "intellectuals" like you honouring my blog with your presence..;))..You get amazing ideas, I say. So, should I check with an ENT uncle or a psychiatrist uncle? :)

Narayanan, I perfectly understand..The variety makes all the difference to enjoying Vadumaangais..My mom got a good batch this time!! :)

Me, true enough!
"Sorgamey endralum adhu namoora pola varuma?
Ada, ennadu endralum adhu num nattukeedagumaa?" (definitely not my would know whose it is..;))

Chakra..Thanks :)
Well, aren't u asking your folks at home abt sending you vadumaangais?? :)

saranyan said...

all the best anupama. you are going to bombay right?

and welcome back to the blog world :)

Sriram said...

hey....nice to see u back!!! cool template n all....all the best for your new chapter in life... :)

vijay said...

Ha ha! Your template is screwed up. Commentor names don't appear.

Anupama Viswanathan said...

Saranyan, thankie for the wishes!! Naan bombay porenaa? yaar sonna?? ;))

Hey Sriram, I didn't design the template..;)Thanks for ur wishes too!

Vijay (Mo)! I know you are deeply interested in raising the number of comments on my post (as you expressed to me, right now!!), but you needn't announce to the world that my template is screwed up!! Blogfather, don't ditch ur dotter like this!! :)

Chakra Sampath said...

hey... template change... same as what i hav got.

Anupama Viswanathan said...

Yeah chakra..I realised that after I changed mine..What a coincidence!! :)

Twin-Gemini said...

You are done with your Journalism course, is it? Whats next? Higher studies or a job?

Come summer time, and Madras is filled with Vadumangai and sweet mangoes.

Good template, although the comments dont show the author-links anymore, until you actually click to post a comment. Maybe a config. issue?

And welcome back, now that you are done with your classes, we should see more of your posts? :-)

JaganLee said...

Good template.
Pleasant to read

saranyan said...

Oh I thought you got a job in bombay, from some comments I guess. thappa purinjuntennu nenaikkaren :)

seri ennikaavadhu pona, all the best :)

Anupama Viswanathan said...

Twin-gemini, yeah, hopefully I should post regularly now..:)

Higher studies?? people at home will chase me out..;)) (which tells u that I have settled for the other option!)

Yeah, I love the template too..I realise the authors' names don't show up, but I am too lazy to fix it now..:)..let it be..:)

Jaganlee..I don't have so much of technical sense as far as blogging goes..It was Vijay (Mo)'s idea..

Saranyan, :))..I was just kidding..your "all the best" would be put to use soon..:) Hopefully, if everything goes fine, I will be in Bombay soon..:)

Sriram said...

Nice template. *Duh, I'm the "late" one I guess!* congrats on completing the course ! SO, do we get to see you blog more? or r u gonna be slacking off?

Anupama Viswanathan said...

Sriram, "better late than never" ;)..
--congrats on completing the course !-- Hehe..I still haven't gotten my results!! :D

Blogging more? Hmmm..if not more, yes, atleast readable stuff! :)

Amrita said...

HI Anu, nice design. by ways thats a nice retrospective piece down the memory lane. I think like that several times but you have put it in words more expressively. good work, keep blogging.see you in chennai on the third

Anupama Viswanathan said...

Hey Amrita, thanks :). Catch ya on 3rd. I shall keep checking on ur blog though! Enjoy!:)